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Last week my wife forgot my birthday…so last night for $550, I forgot I was married for 2 hours.

You know you have a drug problem when you’re out with your 2 best friends at a bar, and one of those 2 friends pulls out a couple grams of cocaine in a little bag. Then the other friend looks at that friend that brought the coke, and pulls out a bag in his pocket. Then while looking at me, nodded their heads no, and in unison said, “Hey we’re sorry, we shouldn’t have brought coke out in front of you, we weren’t thinking.” The fucked up thing was, no time did I ever say I needed help, or thought I was at “rock bottom”, and granted I did go to rehab a year later, they were the ones with one of the most addicting Schedule 2 narcotics in their pockets.

After coming home from my first prostate exam appointment, I had 30 minutes before my wife came home. I went online and the first video that showed up was of Ava Devine (known for her “backdoor scenes) I clicked on play, and instead of doing what I usually do, I started crying.

The other day I was taking a defensive driving class. I raised my hand to ask a question. Before I asked, I said “I hope this doesn’t sound stupid.” The teacher right away replied, “There is no such thing as a stupid question.” Last night while my wife and I were watching TV in our bedroom, before we went to sleep, I was drinking Pepsi. She asked, “Don’t you think the caffeine will keep you up?” Now on the surface, she’s absolutely correct, caffeine does keep you up…but it was right after I did 3 lines of cocaine on my night table that’s right next to me…which then made me remember that I had 5 grams of coke in my pocket. Interrupted in mid thought my teacher asked, “Hey smiley face, what is your question?”

In the last 2 months I have watched so much Brazilian anal porn, that whenever I’m really excited or in a lot of pain, my wife wonders why I can speak fluent Portuguese.

So I did a little research, well kind of a lot of research…and saw that the average porn movie is 1hr and 30 minutes…I never knew that. I had thought the running time for every movie was 4 minutes, because I have never watched more than 4 minutes of every movie. I think they could cut a lot of overhead by deleting 86 minutes of a 90 minute film.

So I think the hardest thing for me in recovery is gaining the trust back from close friends, and loved ones…because right now, no one believes a word I say…for instance, I was addicted to cocaine, and painkillers for the past 16 years…my mother, insists, it was 17.

So last night I was going thru some family photos, and this one was when my wife brought our cat home for the first time, surprising me…I walked into the room, and at first glance I said, “well he’s not going to take after his dad.”…and my wife said, “Casper, that’s his tail.”

Last night while watching Netflix’s, Power of the Dog, my cat taking the title literally, turned his back to the TV screen, and gave me the middle finger for 2 hours and 6 minutes, the exact running time of the movie.

I think as a cat owner…cats definitely undeservedly, have a bad reputation. Sure they usually will not greet you at the front door after a long day’s work, like a dog will. Some might never show you love…but not my cat…after not feeding Corleone for 4 days, he follows me everywhere.